Bob

Thanks for the kind letter.

As to your points:

1) I will NOT give thanks to those myriad of laws. Very few of them protect me (and by proxy you) in our business dealings, and most of them create an artificial drag on OUR success.

As for those “tax deductions,” do you have any idea how much complying with all that paperwork costs US? (And by “us”, I include your friends who are looking for jobs, that I didn’t have the leftover income to reinvest in employees.)

2) Personal lifestyle attacks need to be leveled at people who really live that way, or do you assume that every small business owner rolls around on a pile of lucre like Scrooge McDuck?

3) Americans are GREAT hires, because they are dollar for dollar more productive. Except when they are not. If someone else supplies it cheaper and better, it’s a signal that we need to be in a different business.

(Every time you make a Buy American argument, substitute the name of a state for the name of a country. Sounds silly.)

4) A healthy infrastructure is like a healthy environment, healthy air, and healthy schools. All for them, but how do you prioritize? If there’s only a fixed amount to spend on each of those perfect pursuits, how to we allocate?

Now… who is setting the bar for “how healthy” for each of those things? Is it someone living within means, or is it someone spending OUR dollars without having to work for them?

5) Rush? They haven’t had an album out in a couple of years. The “Snakes and Arrows Live” DVD was pretty good.

The last thing Rush said about taxation and socialism was handled in “The Trees.” (and the Trees were all kept equal by hatchet, ax, and saw.)

That’s the great thing about America. IF I close a business for the wrong reasons, YOU can open one right back up.

Nothing’s stopping you. Go for it.

While you can…

Dear Boss,

Your note proves what most of us have always said behind your back – you’re a greedy and self-centered bastard who is focused on things, not people, and you will doubtlessly die a lonely and bitter man. We will continue to pray for you around the coffee pot, even though you are now making us pay a quarter a cup.

Here are few other things to consider before you throw your fit, close the company and move to Argentina:

• We appreciate the vision, drive and creative spirit that created your company, and we feel fortunate to work here. There are actually even a few of us who look up to you as an example of a true leader.

• We respectfully suggest that you should be thankful for the local, state and federal laws which give small businesses like ours (ooops, sorry – yours) tax breaks and growth incentives. They make everything from our paychecks, insurance premiums, rent, utilities, toilet paper – even your Mercedes – a tax deduction for you.

• (Speaking of your Mercedes, how much of your personal lifestyle is actually paid for by the company? Country Club dues that are “business entertainment”? Your kids’ new laptops that are “business equipment”?)

• When American businesses people – which you are privileged to be – employee fellow Americans, it helps America. Because we the people are taxpayers too, so we fund schools, police departments, the military, libraries, old folks’ care and other things.

• A healthy infrastructure (bet you didn’t think that people who “don’t mentally check in before noon” would know such a big word!) promotes a healthier community, which makes more and more consumers. And although we’re not the Rockefeller you are, we believe that more consumers means more business for us – again, sorry, you.

• We can understand you loathing those pesky and perpetually-breeding welfare mothers. (Who doesn’t?!) But contrary to Rush’s current ranting points, a slightly higher tax rate for you does not mean Socialism. Given the mess we’re in, it’s a good business investment. If everything falls apart, you’re not going to have anybody to sell to.

All this to say thanks for the note. And if you really want to close up shop, one of us will undoubtedly start a similar business in its place. Know why? Because even with all of your bitching about what you’re afraid is going to be taken away from you, there is no better place on earth to live or work or build a life than the United States of America.

Please help us John. We’ll do anything you say!
JG: Anything? And you’ll follow my guidance?
Yes! Implicitly!
JG: Ok, eliminate the income tax.
But how will we pay our government employees?
JG: Fire them.